The Act of Believing

“She worshiped God, and he opened her mind to pay attention to what Paul was saying.“ Acts 16:14 (NCV)

by Brenda Williams

The act of worship and belief are described so simply and seem so easy for those people I read about in God’s pages. She worshiped. He opened her mind. Is it really that simple? Why is there struggle for me, even today?

In my youth it was easy to believe in something -- the magic of Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, that my eyes would stay crossed if I kept “doing that,” or even that Jesus had been born as a baby, came to earth, died for my sins and would someday take me to live with him in heaven. One by one my childhood beliefs were challenged and of course, some fell by the wayside. As I grew, that made it harder to actually put my whole heart, faith and trust even in things my mind knows are true. My point being that my belief in Christ today is a different kind of belief.

Speaking as someone who has actually “heard” God’s voice saying something specific to me (not once, but twice), you would think experiencing God at that level would permanently erase all doubts. It has … but it also left me to wonder and worry why I don’t experience Him that way all the time. Why it is so hard to worship and focus and praise and read my Bible? Why is it so hard to believe that the good news of the Bible really applies to me? Why wasn’t I given the gift of belief, if such a gift exists?

The act of believing takes some willpower! I find I have to remind myself of God’s grace and mercy every day; actually, every minute. So it’s not the same as when I was a child, but it’s where I am now and I DO believe that God knows where I am and is right here with me.

Lord, I believe You are with me, even in the midst of my daily struggles to believe and apply your word. I believe in You; help me in my unbelief. Amen.